You're right. Thanks for sharing. I did not see this one. "What life is like without her." Yes, it's a loss a piece at a time. First shot - 13 years ago. Then a slow, steady grinding down of a lot of living in hell (without coming back) for the last 7 years. By the end, many spouses of dementia have almost grieved themselves out as you lose more and more of them and "us" and your own sanity day by day. You've spent years - some decades! - of finding what life is like without them as the disease steals them away. drip. Drip. DRIP. And then your husband is gone ... and now you're living with Mr. Hyde.
I have earnestly prayed that the Lord will not bring another dementia situation or sufferer across my path. I don't know what's in store - it's presumptive to assume who dies first anyway - but I have nothing to offer others in this hell except tearful empathy. That's why it's so important to guard your mind. These feelings are too much. But I hold to the knowledge that He does not leave or forsake us in the midst of the grittiest combat. Then there's the anticipatory grief that comes from knowing he does not follow Jesus, and when he's gone ... there is no expectation of peace or renewal. He's right. It's painful to watch the avoidable unfold. And there is no promise of tomorrow. Would I trade places with someone who had a sudden loss? - that's so awful. I don't know, but I think at this point I would. It helps to keep a gratitude list. Very, very few "things" are on it.
Your guest needs to know about the EMF blocking phone bags, btw.
You're right. Thanks for sharing. I did not see this one. "What life is like without her." Yes, it's a loss a piece at a time. First shot - 13 years ago. Then a slow, steady grinding down of a lot of living in hell (without coming back) for the last 7 years. By the end, many spouses of dementia have almost grieved themselves out as you lose more and more of them and "us" and your own sanity day by day. You've spent years - some decades! - of finding what life is like without them as the disease steals them away. drip. Drip. DRIP. And then your husband is gone ... and now you're living with Mr. Hyde.
ReplyDeleteI have earnestly prayed that the Lord will not bring another dementia situation or sufferer across my path. I don't know what's in store - it's presumptive to assume who dies first anyway - but I have nothing to offer others in this hell except tearful empathy. That's why it's so important to guard your mind. These feelings are too much. But I hold to the knowledge that He does not leave or forsake us in the midst of the grittiest combat. Then there's the anticipatory grief that comes from knowing he does not follow Jesus, and when he's gone ... there is no expectation of peace or renewal. He's right. It's painful to watch the avoidable unfold. And there is no promise of tomorrow. Would I trade places with someone who had a sudden loss? - that's so awful. I don't know, but I think at this point I would. It helps to keep a gratitude list. Very, very few "things" are on it.
Your guest needs to know about the EMF blocking phone bags, btw.
BAYSIDER