Monday, September 7, 2020

A Personal Story

 I’m an automation engineer. I program robots and computers and I design equipment.

I often improve other equipment or upgrade stuff I’ve done.

And having done it a while I have a lot of experience.

There are times I have to reach out to someone else for what they know, to understand a system I’m not familiar with, and others do that towards me.

When I find or build something that is really helpful, I will volunteer that information so that others in the organization can benefit.

See if this helps you.

I was raised in a certain Christian religion. Many members of this religion love God and profess the name of Jesus and his death on the cross for our sins.

And as great a work as that was, there was a part of me that felt He hadn’t done anything for me lately.

That there was no power in that religion. And I fell away from it, doubting the existence of God.

I ended up in a German hotel, where I had no one to turn to, no access to medical care, and an abdominal pain that was as severe as the acute appendicitis I had suffered a few years before.

Since I had the appendectomy, I doubted it had miraculously returned to go bad again.

But I remembered that it had almost killed me, and I did not want this to kill me.

I was doubled up with pain for quite a while, but I won’t lie and tell you I remember how long.

Finally, I spoke out audibly and said, “If there’s a God out there, and you can hear me, if you will heal me, I will find you and I will serve you.” .
I have since heard many a person say they had made the same cry and had similar results.

I was immediately healed of whatever it was, which to this day I can only suspect was a kidney stone, having passed one the year before, but never since.

I then realized the severity of my oath. I was trapped by my own words.

But I held up my part of the deal.

I knew there was no power in Christianity, so I began looking in Black Magic, Eastern Mysticism, hallucinogens, whatever.

One day, I was reading Moby Dick. In the opening line, the main character introduces himself by saying, “Call me Ishmael” and I wondered what that meant. I vaguely remembered that it was a Biblical name, but what it meant went right over my head. So I looked it up. No Google. 

Ishmael I discovered, was the bastard son of Abraham.

This told me that our protagonist was an illegitimate son cast out by his wealthy father with no name and no prospects, to make his own way in the world. Ishmael also had God’s promise that he would be looked out for, and our protagonist is the only survivor of the story.

I realized that most of Western Literature made references to biblical passages and if I were to understand what I was reading, to be literate, I should be more familiar with the Bible. So, I started reading it.

Well, I saw the negative results of other’s experience with magic (one was a close friend of mine from high school) and the illusion of hallucinatory drugs. And Eastern Mysticism seemed wrong somehow.
So I rejected those paths to find the one I had called out to.
And I was reading the bible merely to be informed, not conformed.

Or so I thought.

I had seen friends converted to Christianity, but I was not convinced of it’s reality, even though my best friend from High School who had turned me on to dope, was now turned on to Jesus.

People came across my path, and I attended church, but I didn’t get it. Made no sense.

I was rebuilding the motor on my scoot (in my living room) and I decided to stop smoking weed while I did that. I had made a mistake at work while stoned and my boss let me know he knew and gave me a break, so I stopped smoking before and during but hit it hard after. Now I was working on my bike and I thought I would do it straight, for the first time in a long time.

A girl I was interested in had given me a tract.
I took a break from working on the bike to read it.

This tract made no theological argument, it did not point out my sins or failures.
All it did was list the prophetic descriptions of the “Messiah” and the fulfillment of those by Jesus.

I had never seen that before, and although I was intellectually offended by the thought of the “Son of God” showing up in the dusty streets of the ancient Roman Empire in a backwater country called Judea, all of a sudden, I could not argue with it. I gave it a little thought, and realized that it was irrefutable evidence of something beyond my understanding.

I then spoke out loud again to the same one I had called out aloud to a few years before to deliver me and said, “I don’t understand it, but I recognize that you Jesus are the Master of the universe and I submit myself to you. Tell me what to do, and I will do it.” And the room seemed to swirl a little as if I had walked through the looking glass and was on the other side.

And since then, things in the Bible have been making sense to me. And when they don’t, I realize they just don’t make sense to me. But someday they will.

The ramifications are tremendous. 
If the Bible is real, if God is real,and He is active in the world, then there is around us an unseen battle raging which is reflected in the physical world we see. 

And you see it. You see it in Portland, Seattle, D.C., Austin and you see it in your own life.

Pick a side. I highly recommend the side I chose.
The Book says we win. It hasn't been wrong yet.

If you want to hear an interesting take on this battle, I suggest clicking on:

The War of the Worlds


  1. I enjoy hearing how other's have turned to Jesus Christ and found eternal salvation. This warms my heart. I'm happy to call you Brother in Christ. Keep looking up! :)

  2. I've called you Brother from time to time, because you are. Thank you for sharing your experience in finding Jesus. :)

  3. If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

  4. I used to say to others that I don’t attend churches where there is not a discernible presence of the Holy Spirit. Denomination never made any difference to me, and still doesn’t. But then I realized that maybe it wasn’t the church at all. Maybe it was me. If I have the Holy Spirit within me, then every church I walk into should have a discernible presence of the Spirit’s presence. The lesson I learned was that I cannot blame others if the light of the Holy Spirit glows but faintly inside me. I therefore conclude that if we are plagued by problems that seem to have no solutions, it is probably because we have not looked deep enough inside ourselves.

    Yours is a great story, Ed. Thank you for telling it.

    1. Thanks for listening :)
      And your excellent comment.