Scherie and I just got back from visiting our new Granddaughter in CT.
Surprisingly, I found TSA at both Detroit and Hartford to be helpful and courteous.
While waiting for our flight in a restaurant, I got a call from American that said our flight was delayed.
Now I knew we'd never make our connection.
So I called the airline and they made new arrangements for us.
I went to the gate agent to get our new boarding passes,
"Effy" said she could do better than Eva on the phone had done.
She booked us to Charlotte and then upgraded us to First Class to Detroit.
Arriving two hours earlier.
But we would not be seated together.
Two middle seats across the aisle from each other.
We got on the plane and worked our way to the back.
When we saw the seats I asked Scherie which side she wanted to sit on.
She said her seat was E so that's what she'd take.
She sat between a pleasant lady and a gentleman.
I waited while a guy about my age stood up to let me in.
The window seat wasn't occupied yet.
I sat down, and then he approached.
The young thin guy trying to look like Kid Rock (and not getting it) pointed to the seat and announced that it was his!
We stood up again to let him in.
As he sat down, he remarked that he had to sit with a couple of old guys.
The guy to my right said something to the effect of "Watch your mouth." in what might have been a joking rejoinder.
Window seat offered to kick his ass.
Aisle guy said "try it."
I sat there studiously quiet, unbuckling by seat belt surreptitiously, poising my elbow for window boys' trachea.
It settled down, and I reached to the floor to get my coffee cup from between my feet.
Window boy remarks, "You drinking coffee this late?".
I said Yup, and he said "That's cool, nothing wrong with that."
I said I was glad of that.
He takes a phone call and sweetly and gently tells the person on the other end, "I'm on my way. I miss you. I love you. bye.", hangs up, and starts hitting on the two young girls in window and middle seat ahead of us.
"Where you from? I'm from Arkansas". A little more I couldn't hear and he pats window girl on the head as he sits back and says "Blondie."
Then the ear buds go in and I can hear his music rattling in his head.
Then the foot tapping.
Then the singing.
"Ooooh baby... I'm gonna F you, F you all night long... slow and ....."
Aisle guy ahead of me turns and tells him to stop singing.
He tells him to shut up.
I turn and tell him I've had enough.
He starts to say something, and the young steward steps up and asks if there's a problem.
Window boy says, no, there's no problem.
I turn to the steward and firmly insist, okay I was loud, "There certainly is a problem.
Window boy has been threatening fellow passengers, lewd and lascivious behavior, and he's broken Federal Aviation Regulations,"
I demand he be removed from the plane before he has a medical condition.
He's certainly on drugs.
But I was thinking of a different medical condition he would be having.
Other passengers agree, window boy (hereafter "meth head") says it's cool, he'll be good, steward says not good enough and walks away.
Meth Head starts tapping his foot, questioning the steward's sexual orientation, and complaining that he's gonna miss his flight if the plane doesn't get going.
I forgot to mention that the plane stopped moving.
After a while, the plane starts moving.
Meth Head says "About time, I gotta a connection to make."
I think he is the only person on the plane that doesn't see it coming.
Plane stops. Daylight as the front door is opened.
Guy to my right, ex-cop it turns out, and myself are asked to get up.
Then Meth Head is asked to get up.
I'm still thinking "adam's apple or nose?" as he passes into the aisle next to me.
And then he's gone.
And soon, so are we.
It was a very congenial flight after that.
Quite a lot of surprise at what had played out.
Scherie took his window seat, and my fellow passengers said "Well played".
They hinted that I had provoked him to get his seat for my wife.
Well, it had occurred to me.